...Title... ?

Today, I treated my body very badly. I didn't have time for dinner.
Lunch was a cheese and tomato sandwhich, a fudge donut and a few sips of a crappy coffee from Greggs.

Then I had a large packet of Pom Bears and a bottle of Irn Bru as snacks.

Dinner was 'chicken' style strips with onion rings.

And I then had Daim bar, a few forks of cheesecake and most of a bottle of Coke.

I have a bit of a headache, but I'll make up for this all tomorrow by treating my body very well (and taking it to the gym!) :)

A Little Fall of Rain...

So far, today has been a very lazy day. I woke up really late and had a handful of Choco Squares as a sort of 'breakfast'.
Lunch was leftover spinach, sweetcorn and pea salad with leftover potatoes. I think I'll need to make that again with a few twists, it was quite nice.

I'm now having a cup of Skinny Cow mint hot chocolate and watching Harry Potter. James is having a nap which gives me some time to myself through in the living room, so I won't complain.

In a little while I'm going to do my workout DVD for the first time in what seems like forever! Then I'm going to make dinner and do some cleaning.

But, for now, I feel like hearing the sound of my own typing and would like to write a long-ish post since my last few have been very puny.

So, I think it's time for a bit of an update vis-a-vis how this journey is progressing.

My second-monthly weigh in is in 19 days. I have a feeling I'm going to have to celebrate that night, because it's looking like my weight loss for this month is going to be pretty good, even with the fact that I couldn't afford my gym pass this month.

Last night while I was waiting for James to come to bed I done my usual bed-time routine of mousturising and, as I did so, I noticed some fantastic things.

I've already mentioned to a few people that my legs have been looking great lately (no doubt due to the fact that those are the things being worked the most so far!) but last night I noticed they really do almost look back to their old selves. I have naturally gorgeous pins when they're taken care of (a bit short, yeah, but lovely nonetheless!) and I'm starting to see some definition and some of my old legs shining through!

But, the bigger thing is that whilst I moisturised my stomach I noticed that it seems so much smaller and I'm pretty sure I'm sensing some tone underneath the flab. Even at my thinnest, I didn't have any tone or muscle. It was all just this concave sort of...space.

I'm just really stunned. I never set out expecting results so fast but it seems like... well, like I'm getting them! There is actually a chance I could look great for my 21st birthday in December!

I feel healthier. I feel stronger. I definately feel more confident.

I've been having a very lack-lustre day so far but even so, I'm so insanely positive and optimistic about what the future holds.

I'm getting there!

So...

Breakfast ; bran flakes & banana.
Lunch ; Cheese and chive spread sandwhich.
Dinner ; Boiled potatoes with spinach, sweetcorn and pea salad.
Snacks ; two strawberry yoghurts.

About to have some semolina and a cup of tea :)

Another forgotten update!

Yesterday didn't get an update! Mostly because I was exhausted and forgetful. So, here's what happened yesterday.

Breakfast was ; waffle sandwhiches!
Lunch was ; spinach and ricotta ravioli.
Dinner was ; 1/2 a cheese and tomato pizza.
Snacks were ; two strawberry yoghurts and a few cups of tea.

Did I work out? Did I Hell :( I could barely hobble around the house on my poor little ankle. However, I have a feeling I might manage today as my ankle doesn't feel too bad this morning.

I'm about to have breakfast - bran flakes with banana!

Whirlwind weekend.

I haven't updated since Thursday and that's bad, but I really haven't had the time! Let's start at Friday morning and make our way to right now (Monday morning).

On Friday morning we got up at 6 to get ready to go to Edinburgh to spend the weekend at a hotel for a job interview/work trial sort of thing as live in general assistants. But, first, we walked to Asda (15 minute walk) to get some new clothes since neither of us really had anything that was appropriate. Then we walked to the bus station (10 minute walk) and got a bus through to Edinburgh. We couldn't walk this part because it's an hour on the bus and would probably have taken days on foot :p

I'll mention at this point that we didn't have time for breakfast at all.

When we got there, we got another bus to the place. By then it was 11. We were asked to go familiarise ourselves with the area for a few hours because they were busy so we left and walked around the beach for 20 minutes then sat on the wall between the beach and the promenade for the remaining time until it was almost 2. Then we walked back up to the hotel (it was a 5 minute walk, if that!) and were put to work.

Note ; still not had lunch.

I spent most of the afternoon cleaning the bar. It was so messy and covered in dust because new beer taps had just been installed. Infact, to be honest, I think I finished at about 9ish. It involved a lot of stretching up to get bottles down from the high shelves and just general movement.

Then, hallelujah, we were given dinner (even though I really don't like eating so late, I almost wolfed it down because I was so hungry!) - I had a cheese and tomato sandwhich, 1/2 a bowl of tomato soup and a small portion of chips. It was heaven, but probably only because I was so starved!

Then they decided they wanted to completely re-arrange the dining room. So, we spent until 1 in the morning moving tables, chairs, crockery, cutlery, ornaments and giant dressers etc. out of the dining room then back in etc. etc.

We then went to bed and collapsed. We were up at 7 and started serving breakfast and clearing tables at 7.30. We then had breakfast which was (for me) a bowl of cornflakes, two eggs and two pieces of toast with a cup of tea.

At about 11.00 I went with the woman-owner to do the bedrooms. There are around 20 rooms over three floors covering two sides of the giant house. But, to go up to one side of the house you can't just cross over from the other. You have to go down the stairs and then up the other side. I spent the day, until 2 oclock, running up and down 3 flights of stairs with piles of laundry, linen etc. - inbetween making beds etc.

We were then given a break and, since the beer taps were new and the woman-owner still hadn't tried any of the beer from their new taps she wanted a drink and we were given one too. I had a half pint of Best.

Note ; no dinner.

We helped serve and clear up after dinner from 6-9.30 then were given more booze. I had a bottle of beer.

We then collapsed into bed and managed to stay up just long enough to watch that nights episode of Dr.Who which we'd been loading on I-player since it finished.

We woke up at 6 because James had to go help two guests get their gigantic suitcases down the stairs. Breakfast again - serving, clearing etc.

We then had our own breakfast which I made for everyone. I had two hash browns, two pieces of toast and two fried eggs.

Then onto the rooms with James helping me this time. But since we were both a little lost I think we went up and down the stairs even more than I had the day before. (Have I mentioned I hurt my ankle before we left our house? And that this whole weekend was done on a very sore, swollen ankle?)


We were then told to take a break but, long story short, there was a bit of a problem with some of the rooms we'd done (mostly because he'd had ZERO training and I'd had a minimal amount, and she expected me to realise I was meant to do things she hadn't told me to do the first day and hadn't done herself!) and her attitude stunk - shouting at us infront of guests, shouting at us for things that weren't our fault and generally being extremely unprofessional and cunt-ish. So, we used this break to call my Dad to pick us up and pack our bags. By the time he arrived, when I got in the car, I was exhausted, in agony all over and feeling horrible mentally and emotionally. BUT he had to take something to my Mums house which meant...

...I got to see Beth. Nothing is a better cure for sore muscles and a tired soul than a gorgeous, little ball of blonde goodness shouting 'MEMMA! MEMMA!' hysterically before the car has even pulled up. On my injured ankle and aching all over, I managed to half-run at her as she ran to me then just gave up and chucked myself at the ground where she was and spent about ten minutes cuddling her and getting kisses.

That was my soul sorted out, but my body was still a state...

I got two cups of water (I'd barely had time to drink whilst at the hotel!) then we went to my Dads.

I weighed myself there because he had a scale and I was bored. And, I'm a bit confused because it said I was 13 stone 2lbs, which would mean that since my weigh-in on the 15th I've lost 8lbs - which would be fab. But, that really doesn't seem right - it's been 9 days, meaning that I would have had to lose over a pound a day! I'm going to go check at the machine I usually use either later today or tomorrow, hopefully. If it IS correct, then I've lost 15lbs in total which is a stone and a pound! Which would be absolutely mad and fabulous! But, I'll assume for now it's incorrect just incase...

Anyway, we then got a lift to the bus station and got our bus. When the bus pulled into our stop we got off and walked a short distance to get James food. We then went home where I ate three quarters of a cheese pizza and a small strawberry yoghurt washed down with half a bottle of cola.

Then we went to bed.

I'll update on todays events tonight but I doubt much will have happened. I want to do my workout DVD but by working out on a sore ankle all I'm going to do is prolong the length of time it takes to recover. Instead, I'll probably just try to keep moving by tidying or something like that.

What a day...

I forgot to update yesterday, so here's a quick rundown ;

Brunch was - a potato scone, an egg and a waffle.
Throughout the day I snacked on THREE bags of Quavers (I was totally in the mood for them!)
And dinner was a cheese and tomato sandwhich.
Throughout the day I also had two Muller corners.

Today, I missed breakfast.
Lunch was a cheese and tomato sandwhich.
Then I spent two hours walking around outside in the blazing heat.
Dinner was some cheese and tomato ravioli.


EDIT / I'm now having a late night snack of 1/2 a bottle of Coke and some garlic bread :)

For Love of Some Orange Juice!

This morning I woke up at 7am to get ready for college but was promptly sent back to bed because, QUOTE ''You look like shit. You're sick. You're not going into college like that!'' UNQUOTE.

Okay, maybe not the exact wording. But the sentiment is the same.

So, I curled up into a ball and a while later was given a bottle of water, a bottle of orange juice, an egg salad sandwhich and a packet of Quavers. The food was consumed immediately and the orange juice and water have been supped at throughout the day.

For lunch I had half of a spinach and tomato wrap and a Muller Corner.

I then had a cereal bar.

And I've just had a Quorn Lemon and Pepper Escalope on a sandwhich.

I'm feeling back to normal now, so will hopefully get a workout done tonight (but, maybe I'm not THAT much better yet? I hope I am. I hate doing nothing...)

I think it was the orange juice that helped me recover so quick (I was halfway towards wellness by lunchtime, really.) but I'm sure the spinach and bed-rest helped.

Edit / I've just had a Toffee and Peacan swirl. It wasn't very nice, but I wanted something sweet. I should have had a cup of tea instead. Infact, I'm going to have a cup of tea right now. :)

Edit again // I then had another Muller Corner. They're a bit addictive...

A fruity feast!

Yet again, I woke up late! I just LOVE sleeping... :)
I had bran flakes with a banana and a cup of tea.

Then I spent most of the day relaxing before going to Asda and spending about an hour shopping - I ate an egg salad sandwhich and a packet of Snack-A-Jacks right after I finished shopping, then came home and lugged the bags up the stairs.

I then made dinner which was a Quorn Lemon and Pepper Escalope with a few slices of garlic bread and a tiny little portion of potato wedges.

I'm now feasting on strawberries and grapes and they are YUMMY!

In tune.

I really need to stop skipping breakfast.
Brunch was waffles and eggs with a cup of tea.

I then spent a few hours cleaning and tidying.

I then had a break with another cup of tea and a biscuit.

I then walked to the gym where I ;

Spent two hours on the Crosstrainer burning 865 calories.
I was about to go onto the bike when a strange little man came in, turned off the fan and proceeded to hop on the bike I use. I could have used another bike but I like THAT one! And, without the fan? No, thanks!

So, I showered then walked home.

Where I ate a spring roll while dinner was cooking.

Dinner was two faux-chicken-breasts with potato wedges.

''Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it.''

I'm extremely happy with my weight loss this month. 7lbs is half a stone! I could actually be slim in time for my 21st birthday if I keep going at the rate of 7lbs a month. That is fantastic!

I feel so much healthier than I did a month ago allready. I have more energy, my breathing is better. I feel stronger and a lot more sure of what my body can do.

My legs look great - the last month has obviously done some good things for them. They look thinner already and more defined.

My goals for this month are as follows ;

1 ) To lose 8lbs.
2 ) To ride 15 miles on the static bike.
3 ) To ride 20 miles on the static bike.

I'm confident I can reach those goals :).

Weigh in! :)

This mornings breakfast has been on my mind since last night - waffles with eggs! Yum! I also had a cup of tea.
It was, technically, breakfast and lunch since we woke up late then spent some time dot dot dotting.

Then I walked to the gym. Oh, gosh, I missed the gym!

I spent an hour on the Crossramp burning 436 calories.
Then I done 5 miles on the bike in 36 minutes burning 160 calories.

I then weighed myself and I now weigh....


13stone10lbs!

Which is 7lbs lighter than I was a month ago. It's only 3lbs away from my 10lb target for this month and I'm really pleased with it. The other 3lbs can be put down to the gym being closed for three days and me being ill a few days, haha :)

I came home and had a snack of some spring rolls.

Dinner was a treat since we've just been paid and haven't been shopping yet so don't really have much food in. We had Pizza Hut. I ate ; a forkful of salad (it didn't taste good AT ALL), the ONLY vegetarian pasta they had on the menu, 2 pieces of garlic bread and 2 potato skins. I followed it with a slice of banoffee pie. I ate quite a lot tonight, actually. But sometimes you just have to be a bit of a pig :)

Wellness!

Last night I was so, so hot! I figured I was sweating whatever sickness was inside me out. And, I was right - this morning I woke up feeling normal again.

Well, slightly empty and hungover and still a bit unstable, but still...I skipped breakfast (bad Emma! But it wasn't planned that way, it just happened...)

We walked into town to get money out (payday!) and I had half a cereal bar before realising it wasn't what I wanted/needed. About ten minutes later I had an egg mayo sandwhich (yum!) and half a can of Coke. Coke always seems to make me feel better if I'm ill (odd, huh?) and as I always say 'a little of what you fancy...'.

It was after this that I felt TRULY 'well' again!

We then spent around two hours walking around town before coming home.

Dinner was (vegetarian) chicken fillet covered in sweet chilli sauce with raw broccoli and potato wedges. I was so happy that the chicken tasted EXACTLY like real chicken! The only problem was that I'd burned the sweet chilli sauce a bit. I didn't eat the broccoli since I was stuffed from the rest of the meal.

I had a slice of cheesecake for dessert :)

And I've just had a cup of tea.

Getting there.

This morning I had bran flakes.

Lunch was some noodles.

Then I went on an hour long walk.

Dinner was a slice of pizza.

I'm still not feeling great, but I'm getting there.

Today was a giant 'no'.

I woke up and had a banana.

Then a cup of tea and a cereal bar.

Lunch was some noodles with sweet chilli sauce.

Then I spent most of the day generally feeling rubbish.

I then attempted to do Workout 5 on my Biggest Loser DVD. But only made it halfway through the warm up before my body started shouting at me. I listened to my body, and it's probably for the best that I did. I came through and cooked dinner.

Dinner was quite nice - roasted butternut squash, mexican bean mix and onion in wraps with a bit of sweet chilli sauce. I had 1 and a half wraps.

Then another cup of tea and another cereal bar.

I hope I feel better tomorrow, as I really don't like feeling sluggish like this.

Burned out.

This morning I woke up at 5am to do Workout 5 on my Biggest Loser DVD before having a bath.

Breakfast was a bowl of bran flakes followed by a banana.

At 11ish I had a cereal bar in an attempt to stop myself falling asleep in college. I was dizzy and headachey and just generally feeling rubbish.

So, I left at 1 and came home and ate a peanut butter sandwhich then had a nap.

When I woke up from my nap I ate 'pizza' - a ciabatta cut in half with tomato puree, onions, mushrooms and tomatoes.

I then had a banana and a cup of tea.

I still feel a bit 'off' but not quite so bad after the nap.

I'm now having another cup of tea and a cereal bar.

Where has the day went?

We woke up really late this morning - around half past 10. We then just stayed in bed - him on the laptop playing games and me reading.

And it went on like this until around 11.15 when I had a cereal bar.

And then it went on...and on... until it was about 2pm! Yes, I spent basically the entire day in bed reading.

I had a cheese and onion crisp sandwhich for a late lunch.

I spent most of the rest of the day sitting on the big, comfy chair in the living room doing not a lot. My energy levels today are so low. So, I decided to just go with it and be lazy today and, if need be, make up for it tomorrow.

Dinner was some potato wedges with a tiny dollop of ketchup.

I then had a banana for dessert.

And I'm now having a cup of tea with two WW biscuits.

Like a bull in a china shop.

Breakfast this morning was half a bown of Multigrain Hoops. I wasn't in a 'food mood' this morning.

I then lazed for most of the morning then done Workout 2 on my Biggest Loser DVD. It was a dance-y workout led by Richard and I was rubbish at it. I have no grace or co-ordination and, at school, always refused to do dance during PE. I was good at rugby and okay at basketball. Not dance. Dance has never been my thing.

But, anyway - I done that.

Then I had lunch which was a ciabatta cut in half, drizzled in the oil from a jar of sundried tomatoes with a few bits of sundried tomato thrown ontop too. I then cracked two eggs over it and grilled it. It was yummy! I followed that with a banana.

At around 4 I done Workout 4 on my Biggest Loser DVD whilst I cooked dinner. Dinner was a baked potato and 2/3rds of a can of baked beans.

I then had a nap from 7-9 (just now) and am about to go have a cup of tea and a few handfulls of popcorn as we watch a movie.

This morning I woke up kinda late so decided to have brunch instead of breakfast and lunch. I hade two slices of French Toast with lots of veggies fried in a smidge of oil.

I then walked to the gym where I done ;

17 minutes on the Crossramp burning 100 calories
and 4 miles on the bike burning 115 calories.

I then walked home.

I had a cup of tea, two WW biscuits and a few slices of garlic bread (I was really hungry for some reason!)

And a while later I had dinner which was a baked potato and 2/3s of a can of beans.

I then had a peanut butter sandwhich (craving!) as a very late snack.

Thunder in my Thunder Thighs.

Oh, god... do I hurt!

It would appear that my Biggest Loser DVD is working parts of me I'm not working at the gym. My thighs are agony... squats and lunges KILL me!

Anyway. This morning I had a cup of tea but couldn't stomach any food at that point after hearing the election results.

When I got to college, I managed to choke down two slices of toast with the aid of another cup of tea.

Lunch was a packet of Golden Lites on a roll, a banana and a cereal bar.

Dinner was 'pizza' and garlic bread. The pizza was a ciabatta sliced in half with tomato puree, mushrooms, onions, peppers, tomatoes and a tiny sprinkling of cheese - grilled until melty. It was lovely.

I don't think I'll be working out tonight. Ouch!

Owwie!

Dinner was leftover chilli with the last of my spinach in wraps. I had two, simply because.

I then waited a few hours and had a cup of tea.

Then done workout number 3 on my Biggest Loser DVD. It was fantastic and quite exhausting! And... I injured myself!

I swung one of my 'weights' (ie ; tins of plum tomatoes I'm using as weights until I buy dumbells) into my knee.

I've massaged it and bandaged it up to halt any swelling, so it should be okay for the gym tomorrow... here's hoping! :)

The Biggest Loser :)

My DVD arrived this morning! In a panic after the gym was closed for a few days, I figured I needed to get a DvD to do incase it happens again and ordered The Biggest Loser, The Workout. I ordered it because I love the show and the trainers are fab and compliment each other well with their different training styles.

So, breakfast was a bowl of bran-flakes.

Then lunch was some leftover vegetarian chilli with spinach in a wrap.

I had a cereal bar as a mid-afternoon snack, with a cup of tea.

I then done workout number 1 on the DVD which came with a warm up and was led by Ange. It was quite intense at parts and I'm glad I got the DVD now because it used a lot of muscles I don't really use at the gym (arms and abs especially!) - it was a good workout and I enjoyed it. I'll admit, I skipped the cooldown.

I then had a banana and another cup of tea.

That's all so far today, but there will be an update later :)

My snazzy-title gland is off sick today.

This morning I had Multigrain Hoops for breakfast.

Then a spinach and tomato wrap for lunch.

At this point I walked into town and walked around for two hours trying to get things done and buying myself some things. Couple the walking with the heavy bags and I figured I'd done enough physical activity today (baring yesterdays fantastic gym-trip in mind!) to warrant taking the rest of the day off!

I got home and munched on a cereal bar then spent the day watching movies and reading.

Dinner was Vegetarian Chilli with Rice. The vegetarian mince was new to me but, ya know what? It tastes better than real mince. And, not just because I'm no longer the reason innocent animals are being slaughtered so that their rotting corpses can end up in my stomach! It just tasted way better in general.

I then had a cup of tea and my last Rolo cookie.

And, that's been all today...

'Cause I eats me spinach...

This morning I woke up and walked to college where I partook of some toast with two lovely grilled eggs and a cup of tea!

For lunch I had leftover spinach and ricotta ravioli with a spinach and tomato salad followed by a bag of Golden Lites and a cup of tea.

Then, after college, I gym-ed!

I spent an hour on the Crossramp and burned 369 calories.

I then went onto the bike intending to do 3 miles but kept deciding to go further and done 10 miles, burning 325 calories!
A whole FOUR miles more than my last personal best :) and I'm considering making it 15-20 tomorrow if I'm not too sore :)

Dinner, once I walked home, was a spinach and tomato wrap. It was gorgeous.

And then I had a cup of tea and a Rolo cookie for desert. :)

And another fat-ass day!

I had yet another lazy day today since the gym was closed AGAIN! I woke up early and cleaned the kitchen, though. Then had some Multigrain Hoops for breakfast.

Then lunch was potato sandwhiches (addicted!).

Then James made tea a while later. I had a cereal bar with it.

Then dinner was spinach and riccota ravioli with tomato and spinach salad.

Then I had another cup of tea with a Rolo cookie.

Uh oh :p

But, it's back to the gym tomorrow! YAY!

Forced lazy day... kinda.

So, since the gym was closed today I was gonna go for a run. But, the sky looked angry and I didn't want to get caught X miles from home in a downpour. So, I decided to make today a REST DAY! Let's face it, everyone needs a rest day every now and then.

And, you know what? It's been great.

I missed breakfast because I woke up late. So I had lunch a while after I woke up. It was GORGEOUS and TASTY! It was leftover potato croquette thingies mashed onto bread then covered with cheese and microwaved. Potato and cheese melt I guess. I also had a cereal bar (hazelnut and chocolate! I LOVE THESE!)

I then had a nap. Unintentionally. I was watching 'Trading Places' and just sort of dozed off. The next thing I knew it was 3.30pm!

I walked to Asda to get the fortnightly food shop and noticed that my left leg felt really tight and a bit sore on the way down. It seems the rest day was a good thing because there's a chance that if I'd went for a run today my leg would have just gave in. (Listening to your body ftw!)

When I got back from Asda I climbed the three flights of stairs to our flat with some heavy bags.
Then I had a cereal bar.

And dinner was a mashed potato sandwhich (since it was quite late and I didn't really need much to eat.)

So, all in all it was a very relaxing, nice day. I'm going to lie back and surf the net now whilst reading my new copy of one of my favourite books - 'The Book of Lost Things' by John Connolly which I picked up for £1.00 at the £ Shop yesterday! :)

Zen and the art of chocolate.

I just had a cereal bar. It had a little chocolate on it. It was Heaven. Especially with the cup of tea I had with it! I wish a new series of Biggest Loser would start so that I could watch it after/before/during workouts like I used to do. Jodie Prenger=inspirational, gorgeous, bubbly woman (even though I didn't watch THAT series...)

I considered applying for it last year and was thinking of doing so again ten minutes ago but then realised I'm probably not quite big enough... although, it would be fantastic to be able to live in a great big house full of healthy food and equipped with all that lovely fitness equipment and two personal trainers even if only for a week or two...

Action Plan!

I have decided I will do my weigh in on the 15th of every month (since I started on the 15th of April). And, I thought I'd write a bit of a ramble about my plans, goals and other such things.

I started off at 199lbs and want to be roughly 115-125lbs. I'm not really sure yet because I'm more worried about getting healthy and happy.

I want to be able to be in a room without worrying and thinking 'Am I the biggest girl/person in the room? Do people realise I am? They must think I'm lazy/greedy/disgusting'.

I want to be able to run at people I haven't seen in ages and jump on them like I used to without worrying I'll hurt them or embarrass myself.

I want to be able to go shopping again without feeling like I have to be as quick as possible and try as little as possible on because a lot of the time I end up sobbing in changing rooms.

I want to feel confident seeing friends I haven't seen in a long time - I want their first thought when they see me again to be 'Gosh, she looks good!' or 'Ah, there she is!' not 'What happened to her?' or 'Is she pregnant?'.

I want to know that if I get sick it's not because I'm treating my body badly. I quit smoking because I knew I had no right to smoke when I was already asthmatic and had no right to expect treatment should I end up with lung cancer or even when I had a severe asthma attack (the last asthma attack I had was before I quit smoking and after the attack I waited outside the hospital for the taxi to come and lit a cigarette whilst still wheezing. What the fuck?) . And I have no right to be surprised that I have headaches when I don't drink enough water or feel sick when I eat junk food or have a sore back because I don't move around enough. There are enough people taking advantage of the NHS as it is and taking up time, money and medicine that could be used on innocent people who've done nothing to deserve their illnesses.

I want to set a good example for my little sister. I don't want her to think it's okay to be overweight and unhealthy, because it's not and I don't want to risk my bad habits to rub off on her.

I don't want to fail. I hate failure. I want the people who I've told about wanting to do the Edinburgh Half Marathon who've snickered or rolled their eyes or said something negative to eat their words and feel like complete idiots when I finish it (hopefully not last! But last is better than not at all!)

I want to feel like me again. This isn't me. I've been big more of my life than thin, but I'm most myself when I'm slim. I'm too adventurous and spontaneous to be caged by a fat, slow, wheezy body. I'm too good in bed to be so physically-un-endearing.


For every 10lbs I lose I'm going to do something to treat myself. Like buying a new DVD and curling up to watch it with a new pair of PJs. Or buying myself something from Lush, Lovehoney, Amazon etc. that I normally wouldn't buy because I'm a bit frugal.

Once I've reached my fighting weight (ie: once I reach a size, shape and weight where I feel healthy, happy, sexy and confident) I will hopefully give myself one large treat. I'm hoping that treat could be to go to see Wicked! in London but that might not be possible. We shall see, though.

Closed!

This morning I had bran flakes then walked into town and spent an hour or so walking around shopping then came home and put together some packages to be mailed, then walked back into town to mail them - on the way I ate a cereal bar. Where I found out that the post office was closed! So, I had to lug them (and a lot of food) home. I was then about to leave for the gym when I remembered - it's CLOSED TODAY AND TOMORROW! I feel a bit lost, in all honesty.

I've decided to make my weigh-ins monthly. Mostly because, since I missed today I don't want to do next week (I want to do it either weekly or monthly and now I can't do it weekly since I missed this week - get it?)

I had a slice of cheese on toast for lunch.

And I just had dinner which was Cheese Ravioli in tomato sauce with some potato.

I'll have to figure out what to do tomorrow instead of the gym but I imagine I may try to go for a run outside...